Wednesday July 3, 2019
Began the day meeting up with the foreman of a crew I often use for my construction work to finish up a job while the customer is out of town. I called another friend also involved in construction about cleaning out my shop. The tools I’ve accumulated. The oak, walnut and cherry lumber I’d intended for my projects. An overwhelming list. Paint sprayers, texture guns, concrete nailers, 5 or 6 different kinds of saws, tarps, sanders, band saw, table saw, three routers, bits, blades, portable air compressor. Portable fans. Chainsaws. Lord knows how many feet of commercial grade extension cords! The list goes on. I told Mark my preference would be to sell the entire lot in one fell swoop. There was no time today for much else.
Rediculous I know, but decided now would be the time to make that spaghetti sauce I’ve been thinking about. “Note to self: Blender. Pick up a blender.” I’ll make a few gallons and freeze it in individual containers as I usually do, so that we simply have to toss one in the microwave…. Ran to the department store for two curtain panels for the living room, AND I found the blender that I wanted! Teased Sherry when I returned that I’d found my Christmas gift. Doesn’t take a lot to cheer me up. A new blender!
Our appointment with the head Oncologist was this afternoon. After the paperwork was completed my eyes began to well with tears again as I thought, “This is just the beginning…. Don’t cry again. Dammit! Don’t cry.” Dr. Tarantolo and his team were very kind. Cautious, but kind. Four more tests have been ordered to discover the progress of the cancer, A molecular test of the biopsy which takes 10 days to complete. A PET scan, separate brain MRI, and heart echo. An appointment will be set with a radiology-oncologist. It’s all I have for today. And for me. This was enough.
“Bridge: A passage between two other passages, in which the destination is of greater importance.” As I review my life I wonder, have I simply served, as “The Bridge”? “Bridges” is dedicated to those who cross them, and those who built them for the purposes of “getting us where we want to go”. Lastly, to express my appreciation to the countless bridges I have experienced in my own life’s travels. This was inspired along I-84 in Oregon, along the Columbia river, in Sherman County…
Saturday July 6, 2019
We were invited out to Sherrys’ aunts place on the lake west of town for the 4th. I know how Sherry enjoys meeting up with her cousins, their children…. Always wished we lived closer to my own. I warned her though, given the weather/humidity, we couldn’t stay very long…. And we can’t leave the dogs alone for more than a couple of hours at a time. Sure enough after an hour out on the deck I was wiped out…. It was nice to see everyone but…
Kick a guy while he’s down. Received a letter on Sherrys health insurance in Fridays mail. $600.00 per month rate increase starting in August! Made some panic calls to several agencies and have an appointment Monday with a guy who seems rather intelligent in the industry. I noticed though that it takes a REAL effort for me to talk. It wears me out and increases my difficulty breathing.
Still coughing up blood rather regularly. And with “chunks” that look to be gristle or some other soft body part,.. Dr. Tarantolo said anything more than a couple of tablespoons worth at a time, head to the ER. So far, its maybe a teaspoon at a time. Gross I know, but factual!
I started out to mow today. For years I’ve referred to mowing as my “therapy”. Usually, I “trim” with the push-mower along the fences, retaining walls and such. Then hop on the rider to finish out…. I didn’t make it halfway down the first chunck of fence and I was out of breath with chest pain. Came in and asked Sherry if she could help. She gladly managed the trimming while I rode the Craftsman. BUT, after a couple of hours out there I could hardly get in the house. I cannot describe the exhaustion I experience, and how frustrating it is to be unable to roll up a garden hose. To weed the roses. I’ve gone to being an extremely active individual to literally crawling up the stairs, sitting on the couch in front of the fan, sucking in all of the cool air my lungs will allow. Frustrating…. Going to get rid of the temptation and sell the mowers. Have a guy up the street with a lawn service to do the work for me.…
In closing tonight, Ashley Rice wrote: “In a lifetime you only get a few friends. You know them by heart alone. You always grow a little bit taller in your soul. And you know you’ve been blessed just to know them.” I am humbled by the response to my “announcement” in my blog and social media. It will come to a point where I just am unable to thank each person individually. Some comments make me smile. Others bring tears. Not of sadness but appreciation for the kind words being expressed. I truly cherish every word. Every friend.
Thanks for listening…. ‘Till next time.