This piece began from photographs of a friends garden. I “rested”on publishing the print. The dilemma was the roller coaster of emotions I was experiencing while working on it. What it eventually came to represent. Came very close to just tossing the entire thing! But, I hardly ever throw anything away!
A couple of old 60’s tunes came to me when I initially started. The first one, from Peter, Paul & Mary, “Where Have All The Flowers Gone?” Actually, the first three verses were written by Pete Seeger in 1955, inspired by a Russian novel he’d read! The Kingston Trio recorded it. Marlene Dietrich sang it. As did Joan Baez and others. The song was popular during the Viet Nam war era and was interpreted as a “perceptive comment” regarding the war. If you take a listen, the song itself is rather wistful and dreamy… Until you understand the words. I knew if I dwelt on the words long enough, I’d get depressed. This pastel piece wasn’t intended to cause depression! “OK Self. Think of something else…”
Not ALL of my art-work comes about because of music. Some of it evolves from relationships; acquaintances, friends, close friends and so on… Or even THEIR experiences in life, they’ve related to me over time. Soooo, as work progressed, I began thinking on something that started recently . Odd. How comfortable and secure I felt in our conversations. “Blooming…” I thought was a good description of this new-found kinship (being defined as a close connection with a community of interests and similar in nature!). Instead, THAT all came crashing down, unexpectedly one day. Progress on the flower stopped as I tried to understand what went wrong. I think… No, I KNOW at times I can seem overbearing, overly enthusiastic.. No.. Not “seem” but BE. I can become spirited, zealous, enthralled and even come across as being transfixed on something or SOMEONE who represents positive things. Yep. The conversations became habit-forming. I didn’t realize that by being as captivated as I’d been, I was actually creating undue “pressure”, perhaps even panic in someone else. I don’t like hurting other people. But I did. Making good friends is difficult. Loosing them, even harder to cope with.
In order to finish the piece, I decided to revert to an old stand-by way of doing things, and simply share the “meaning” of this flower. Tulips are sometimes referred to as “the flower of the sun”, because of their upright growth. The “black” center of the flower is said to represent a lover’s heart, burnt to a coal by passion. Ironic. I ended up pretty much where I started!