Good Morning and Happy After Thanksgiving to the world! I will be the first to admit, I have been in a foul mood (no turkey pun intended) lately. Those who have been around me have freely pointed out and will agree, I am in more of a “Scrooge” mode these days. No where near a jovial, festive light-hearted Holiday frame of mind… BUT, I’m not the kind of guy who when miserable, makes everyone around him miserable. I tend to keep my misery to myself. I DO try to put on that happy face… And eventually find ways to bring myself out of the “slump”.
I spent most of the week after Thanksgiving pondering my situation and “reflecting” on years gone by… It really isn’t self-pity or a hatred of the holidays. On the contrary, most ALL holidays bring a warm spot to my heart. It is more of a frustrated, “not where I expected to be in life” kind of mood. That is until I open my eyes and take a look at the world around me. I would bet THESE GUYS weren’t really where they wanted to be this year (forgive the 30 second commercial, I couldn’t figure out how to omit it). So I suggested to myself, whenever my menial dilemmas seem to be overwhelming, think of the other people
I’ve also complained about the pain which has ensued following my shoulder surgery. That is until I watched THIS NEWS CLIP a few dozen times, since it aired several times (again, couldn’t delete the 14 second commercial).
Then, I start thinking of all of the things I am truly grateful for. Working my way from the front to the back… The Internet. Without it, I wouldn’t have the readers, the followers, the friends OR the art customers that I have now. Modern medicine. I’m just plain glad to be alive following my “ordeal” on the operating table back in March. I have a mile-long list of my gratitude that I won’t bore you with!
But my last one, the thing I am most grateful for today, is the ability to still smile once in a while. Someone sent this to me around Thanksgiving time and I just HAD to share it with everyone
ThanksGiving Dinner Notes …
Dear Family & Friends,
I know that you were eager to accept our
family’s invitation to Thanksgiving dinner when you found out that the famous Martha Stewart would be joining us. However, due to scheduling conflicts beyond her control, Ms. Stewart finds that she was unable to grace our table this year.
With that in mind, there will be a few minor changes regarding the
meal and decor, as outlined below. Please be aware of them, and
adjust your appetite and dress appropriately. Thank you
1) Our driveway will not be lined with homemade, paper bag
luminaries. After several trial runs and two visits from the fire
department, it was decided that, no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.
2) Once inside, please note that the entry space will not be
decorated with swags of Indian corn and fall foliage. Instead, we
included our dog in decorating by having him track in colorful autumn leaves from the back yard. The mud was his idea.
3) The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy
china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that
match and everyone will get a fork. Since this is Thanksgiving, we
will refrain from using the paper SpongeBob dinner plates, the
leftover Halloween napkins, and our plastic cup collection.
4) Our centerpiece will not be a tower of fresh fruit and flowers.
Instead we will be proudly displaying a hedgehog-like decoration
hand-crafted from the finest construction paper and pine cones. The artist assures me it is a turkey, albeit one without wings, legs, or a beak.
5) We will be dining somewhat later than planned. However, our
daughter will entertain you while you wait. I’m sure she will be
happy to share every choice comment her mother made regarding
Thanksgiving, pilgrims, stuffing choices, the turkey hotline, and,
especially, her husband. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 8 AM upon discovering that said husband had only remembered to pull the turkey from the freezer at 6AM, and that the thing was still hard enough to cut diamonds.
6) As an accompaniment to our daughter’s recital of these events, I
will play a recording of Native American tribal drumming. Curiously, the tribal drumming sounds a great deal like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, but that only enhances the holiday appropriateness. If our daughter should mention that we don’t own a recording of Native American tribal drumming, ignore her. She’s only nine; what does she know?
7) A dainty silver bell will not be rung to announce the start of our
feast. We have chosen to keep our traditional method of assembling when the smoke alarm goes off.
8) There will be no formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the spirit of harmony, we will ask all the children to sit at a
separate table. In a separate room. Next door. And I would like to
take this opportunity to remind our younger diners that “passing the rolls” is neither a football play nor an excuse to bean your cousin in the head with bread.
9) The turkey will not be carved at the table. I know you have seen
the Norman Rockwell image of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. Such a scene may occur somewhere in America , but it won’t be happening at our dinner table. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in the kitchen at a private ceremony. I stress “private”, meaning Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children, or older, helpful grandparents into the kitchen to check on my progress. I have a very large, very sharp knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will
eventually win the battle. When I do, we will eat.
10) For the duration of the meal, we will refer to the gravy by its
lesser-known name: Kraft Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or makeup of the Kraft Cheese Sauce, smile kindly and say that you know the answer, but it’s a secret that can’t be revealed to them until they are 18.
11) Instead of offering a choice among 12 different scrumptious
desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished
with whipped cream and dog tongue marks. You still have a choice:
take it or leave it.
That concludes our list of alterations. Again, I apologize that
Martha will not be joining us this year. Come to think of it, she
probably won’t come next year, either … /;)
Sorry for the length of this entry. Hope you feel as if the visit was worthwhile. Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving! Swing by the gallery for a visit!